Olivia v. Caroline

The name debate is officially on.  Dennis' top choice is Olivia.  My top choice is Caroline.  Neither of us hates the other name, but we are nevertheless convinced our choice is the better choice.  Dennis has even gone so far as to call the baby Olivia.  Our plan is still to wait until we see our little one before committing to a name, but inevitably, I will think she looks like a Caroline and Dennis will think she looks like an Olivia.  My father suggested that we pick the names out of a hat. I like this idea; it really is the only fair way, but Dennis is less than convinced.  Dennis also claims that because I got my girl, he should get the name. Of course this argument is flawed, but he's sticking to it. He also reminds me he had no say in the nursery. Another flawed argument, as Dennis doesn't care about color schemes and baby furniture.  But that doesn't stop him from reminding me that he didn't get his boy or his sports nursery. So the name debate continues. Stay tuned...    

Baby Movement Part Two

The baby's movement is still sporadic.  I can usually count on movement after I eat a meal and when I finally settle down for the evening and I am resting on the couch.  But there are days where she doesn't follow this schedule, and is a bit nerve racking.  Take for instance the other day, she barely moved all day.  Then the following day she couldn't calm down.  Of course, she's only one pound so even though I didn't feel her move, she was probably moving.  And sporadic movement is perfectly fine at this stage.  I've read the books; I know the facts.  But that doesn't mean I don't still want to feel that reassurance.  And baby movement is really your only sign that your little one is still doing fine.  Of course, you can measure how you are feeling, and you are getting the thumbs up at all your doctor's appointments, but you still want to feel the movement.  The bottom line is you have so little control over your body. Sure, you control what you eat, what you drink and your overall activity level, but other than that there's not much else you control. And that's disconcerting for any mother-to-be, but certainly for a Type A like myself.  Rest assured I'm not actually worrying, but I will admit I'm a lot happier when I feel the movement.

I Gotta Pee!

Over the past couple of weeks, I have spent the better part of my life in a bathroom.  I constantly have to pee.  I don't sleep through the night because I get up at least three to four times to pee.  In the morning while I am getting ready, I will pee at least three times before leaving the house.  To put that in context, it takes me about an hour to get ready in the morning. That means I'm peeing every 20 mintues!  I dread my 30 minute commute to work each day because even though I make sure I pee before getting on the road, within 15 minutes I have to pee.  And I'm not talking, "oh, I could go to the bathroom," I'm talking, "if I don't get to a bathroom right now, I'm going to pee my pants." One time, I almost had to pull over because I didn't think I was going to make it home.  And don't get me started on the amount of toilet paper I'm going through.  I literally used an entire roll in the span of 36 hours. Granted it was a normal size roll, not the super duper double roll, but still. Of course with all these bathroom breaks comes raw hands.  Yes, my hands are actually raw and have cuts all over them from washing my hands so much.  I don't even bother putting lotion on them after each bathroom break like I used to do because I know in a matter of 15-20 mintues I'll just be washing my hands again. 
The sad part is I know it's only going to get worse as the baby gets bigger.  So if you call or text me and don't get a response, you know where I am; I'm in the bathroom peeing.  

Discomfort

I just hit five months, and I'm uncomfortable already.  This doesn't bode well given that I know I'm only going to get even bigger. The worst part is I'm not all that big right now. I'm showing, but I don't think I'm all that big.  But of course I am big for me. I have never been overweight, and certainly have never been the weight I am now.  I also have a short torso, so even though baby is not all that big I still feel like everything is pushing up into my ribs.

The best way I can describe it is the feeling you have after having eaten a very large meal.  But the problem is no amount of walking will take the feeling away.  And forget waking up in the morning after everything has been digested and you once again have your flat stomach because that's not happening either.  Oh how I miss you flat stomach and the great way I felt with you.

Finger Fat?

Dennis and I were eating dinner last night, and he says, "well, you're not gaining weight in your fingers."  Well, thank God for that because that's exactly the area of my body I was most worried about.
In all fairness to Dennis, he wasn't really commenting on my overall weight gain; he just noticed that my engagement ring still had sufficient movement on my finger.  But the comment nevertheless still cracks me up.  For the record, I have only gained six pounds; none of which are in my fingers (big sigh of relief).

Nursery

Before we even knew what we were having, I already envisioned the nursery.  I knew exactly what I wanted for a boy or for a girl. The inspiration for Baby Fowler's room is a throw pillow from Target.  It is champagne with lavender velvet flowers.  I did not choose this pillow from the kid's section, and that's because the nursery will not be your typical baby nursery.  No sleeping teddy bears, no moons, no stars, no butterflies, and most importantly no pastels.  My daughter's room will be classy, chic and sophisticated.  The lavender I speak of is not the pastel purple you see in the kid's section; instead, it is a deep, almost grey lavender that I will pair with eggplant purple.  The curtains I have already purchased look like silk and have both shades of purple in them.
Today, we purchased a gorgeous side table that is distressed antique white.  We also bought some great accessories for the room.  Prior to going shopping today I had a rather affordable crib picked out from JCPenny.  But, I have since found a much more expensive crib that is exactly what I had in mind.  It is distressed antique white, and it screams shabby chic.  Unfortunately, the cost of this newly discovered crib will exceed the cost of the JCPenny crib plus mattress by at least $100.  So what is a girl to do?  Buy the more expensive aka perfect crib of course. 

Music Lover

Music has been such a huge part of my life, and I will no doubt try to make music a big part of my child's life. I'm hoping she embraces it as much as I have.  To encourage this, we plan to buy an iPod for Baby Fowler so we can download all of our favorite music.  Then we will put a dock station in her room, so she can have music playing whenever she wants.  So far, I know she likes Lady Gaga and the Kooks.  At least that how's I'm interpreting her movements. Yesterday, she was moving occasionally, but once Lady Gaga's "The Edge of Glory" started playing she didn't stop moving the entire time the song was playing. Then today, I hadn't felt her move very much, but once I started playing the new Kooks album she was moving like crazy.  That's sufficient for me to officially label my baby both a Lady Gaga and Kooks fan.

Baby Movement

I'm pretty sure I've been feeling the baby move these last two weeks, but I definitely felt movement last night.  For the most part, the movement I've been feeling has been isolated, so I wasn't sure if it was her. It's hard to articulate what it feels like, but the best I can come up with is a wave-like effect in your stomach.  It almost tickles a little bit too.  It's definitely like no other feeling I've ever had.  After I felt this wave-like feeling last night I immediately put my hand to my stomach and she either kicked or punched me. At that point I had no doubt in my mind that these weird feelings have definitely been her.  Unfortunately, when I had Dennis put his hand on my stomach she didn't repeat.
As I write this blog, I have felt her move a few times, and it is both the strangest and most wonderful feeling in the world.     

Joining the Club

I've officially joined the Mickey and Dennis club, and purchased Baby Girl Fowler her first two bathing suits.  They are so cute.  Now I just need to find her a sun hat.   

Grandmom

Below is an email I received from my mother today, and it cracked me up:

-----Original Message-----

From: yekcim412@aol.com [mailto:yekcim412@aol.com]

Sent: Friday, October 21, 2011 10:55 AM

To: Karen Hanks

Subject: My Granddaughter

Hi Cathy and I went out shopping and we picked up her first doll. Love you Mom

Daddy's Shopping Spree

Dennis has embraced the fact that we are having a girl much sooner than I imagined.  Yesterday, Dennis bought a little wardrobe for Baby Girl Fowler.  I came home to this wonderful surprise of girly clothes with ruffles, bows and bonnets.  His favorite is a Calvin Klein jumper with pink hearts.  He even bought pink and white Adias booties.  I loved everything he picked out, and relished in the fact that he too was excited about buying clothes for our baby girl.  Oddly enough, the borderline shopaholic (that's me) has not bought one item with the exception of the Tough Mudder onesie.  I had planned to have the baby room cleaned out and ready for decoration in January, but based on the amount of clothes my Mom and Dennis have already bought, I think I need to move up that date.      

Second Sonogram

With all the hype surrounding the sex, I almost forgot to discuss how awesome our second sonogram was.  I didn't laugh hysterically this time; instead, I was just amazed.  We saw our baby's hands and feet and her little fingers and toes.  She still looks like an alien, but I think she's the cutest alien ever.  She was moving so much. Just somersaulting around the entire time.  I still haven't felt anything though.  My doctor says first time mothers usually take until week 18 to feel something.  I can't wait until Nov. 11 because I want to see her again. 

It's a Girl!

We found out yesterday that we are having a girl.  Dennis was really pulling for a boy.  While I know he's happy baby is healthy, he is still disappointed.  As much as I wanted a girl, I would have been perfectly fine with a boy.  In fact, the more I saw how much Dennis wanted a boy, I actually began to hope it was a boy. I know he wanted a little baseball player, and even though girls can play sports too, softball just isn't the same.  Although the doctor was pretty confident in his assessment, he still gave Dennis a modicum of hope.  He explained it was still early, but we would know for sure at our next appointment (Nov. 11) because the baby would be twice in size.  That's all Dennis needed to hear.  So according to Dennis, Baby Fowler is only tentatively a girl. 
The more I think about it, I'm beginning to regret I ever hoped for a girl because she is going to have Dennis wrapped around her finger.  He's already like that with Snickers.  He may not admit it, but he treats Snickers differently than Tucker and Maverick.  He lets Snickers do things that I just don't allow.  So you know what that means? I am going to be the mean parent and Daddy is going to be the nice parent. 

Filling Out

Technically, I'm still not showing.  But I'm definitely filling out.  My clothes are super tight, in part because of my stomach, but more so because of my boobs.  It's depressing that I am coming to the end of being able to wear all of my beautiful clothes. I walk into my closet everyday and think "nope, can't wear that."  I also hate the fact that I'm not obviously pregnant.  If I have to get fat, then at least make it obvious why I'm fat.  Is this too much for a girl to ask? 

Tough Mudder

By now everyone knows I completed the Tough Mudder race while pregnant. Only a few knew beforehand.  My doctor was less than thrilled when I told him about the upcoming race, and Dennis didn't want me to do it at all. But I started training for this race back in June and just couldn't bear the thought of backing out. So I made a deal: I would not do certain obstacles that had a risk of falling from major heights and if I felt bad or experienced any cramping I would quit immediately.  I was a little nervous about the race because my first trimester side effects took me out of my training routine. So for 7 weeks leading up to the race, I did no exercise whatsoever.  Fortunately, I felt great during the entire race. I ran the first quarter of it, and completed 20 of 28 obstacles.  I skipped the berlin wall obstacles and the electric wire obstacle.  But baby and I still did the freezing cold mud hole (that took my breath away), we crawled under barbed wire, not once, but twice and have the cuts and bruises to prove it (well I do at least), we trudged through more mud holes than I could count, we carried logs, we climbed over logs, we climbed under ground and through tunnels and we scaled cargo nets.  These are just a few of the obstacles we did, and all over a course that spanned 12+ miles.  In fact, this was the hardest part of the race; the length of it.  My legs were so tired.  Sunday was a rough day. My legs hurt so bad I could barely walk.  Fortunately, today I feel much better. I still have some sore muscles and bruises all over my legs, but I can move much better. We also had our second doctor's appointment and baby's heart rate is right where it should be and he/she is kicking a lot. I got a head band and a t-shirt for completing the race and baby got a onesie that says "Future Tough Mudder."  I'm going to have my Mom sew an "X" through the "Future" part b/c Baby Fowler is already a tough mudder. 

Announcement to the Parents

Yesterday, we announced our pregnancy to our parents.  Both sets of parents were excited, but no one was more excited than Dennis' mother and his little niece and nephew.  They were just beside themselves. It really brought a huge smile to my face hearing them cheering for joy in the background.  It also made me realize I haven't experienced that sort of excitement.  Of course I am happy, but I have been more focused on the logistics of everything.  Not to mention just trying to survive the first trimester.  This also wasn't a planned pregnancy, so I think that accounts for the lack of excitement.  That is not to say I am unexcited; I'm just not jumping up for joy (yet).  Instead, the analytical side of me is just more focused on the huge responsibility we are about to undertake and getting a plan in place to handle that enormous task.  It's also still all a bit unreal.  Yes, I know I'm pregnant, but with the exception of my pants fitting a little tighter and my boobs getting larger, I am not showing.  And with the exception of suffering all the first trimester symptoms, I don't feel pregnant.
      But there is a frame sitting next to our bed that says "My first photo," and it has our first sonogram photo in it. Every time I look at it I smile, and my heart warms.  I think that constitutes excitement for a girl who didn't picture herself with a kid, ever.      
  

Daddy-to-be

Most of the blogs are about me. And why shouldn't they be, right? I'm the one going through the actual pregnancy.  But we can't forget about Dennis.  Dennis is just smitten that we are having a baby.  There's really no better word to describe it.  It's hard to know how Dennis is feeling most of the time because he tends to keep certain feelings bottled up, but there is no doubt that he is elated that we are pregnant.  Honestly, I think Dennis was more sure he would have kids than I was, so for him this is just something he always knew would happen.  Of course, he's pulling for a boy.  He already jokes that the baby is holding a baseball.  I equally joke that the harder he wishes for a jock, the more likely we will end up with a gay, tap dancing kid.  He hates when I do that, which makes it even more fun.  Even more endearing is he's already started to rub my stomach and talk to the baby.  I've told him it can't hear him yet, but he still talks to it.  Having Dennis be so excited about the possibilties of our future makes me less nervous about the realities of it. I don't think I could have asked for a better Daddy-to-be.   

Come on Week 13!

As I write this I am about 10 1/2 weeks pregnant, which means that I am less than two weeks away from being finished with my first trimester.  Of course this is a great milestone because the chances of a miscarriage after 12 weeks is significantly reduced.  But let's be honest, I'm more excited by the fact that my first trimester side effects are starting to dissipate, and will hopefully disappear completely. I ran out of Zofran yesterday, but luckily I made it the better part of a day without any nausea. Today, I have zero nausea. (But just in case, I still called in a refill).   I still have bad nights, but before it was 24/7, so I think things are looking up.  My body also feels relatively normal again, and the 3 a.m. severe hunger wake up calls are certainly less frequent.  I am just hopeful that this improvement means I won't be part of the club of women who suffer first trimester side effects throughtout their entire pregnancy. The mere thought of that makes me sick. So far I've been textbook, so here's hoping I stay textbook. Come on week 13!

First Ultrasound

On September 12, 2011, we had our first appointment with the doctor, and more importantly our first sonogram.  We had been reading weekly updates about the progress of the embryo (now graduated to fetus), but were shocked when we saw an actual form in the shape of a baby on the screen. There was clearly a head, a heart and stubby appendages. And yet the actual size is that of an olive. I'm not sure what the normal reaction is when first seeing your baby, but I laughed hysterically.  Literally.  I'm a Hanks, what can I say.  I was laughing so hard, I caused the baby to kick his/her little stubby appendages, which of course just made me laugh even harder.  I laughed myself to tears and couldn't stop.  Even the doctor said, "I've never had that reaction before."  Then we heard the heartbeat.  All I can say is "wow."  Baby Fowler's heart is beating at 165 beats per minute and everything looks great.

Once we got home, we couldn't stop staring at the sonogram pictures.  We are still amazed at what we are seeing and what is growing inside me.  Just thinking about the whole moment the next day, I couldn't stop smiling.   

Pregnancy Side Effects

Read a list of side effects that most women suffer during their first trimester, and you would see my name next to each one (except vomiting).  But while I was spared this one side effect, this did not lessen the torture of the other side effects.  After suffering for about three weeks with 24/7 nausea, I finally called my doctor who prescribed Zofran aka "miracle drug."  Within one hour of taking this medicine all of my nausea disappeared.  Unfortunately, the other side effects remained, which I will not bore or disgust you with.  But they were manageable because I was no longer nauseated. 

The most sad side effect for me: all the weight loss and tummy toning I achieved with 90 days of P90X and 60 days of Insanity disappeared.  It was like it never happened.  Oh well. It was bound to happen eventually, but why did it have to happen so fast? 

As I write this blog, I am 9 weeks pregnant and oh so looking forward to the next trimester where I am promised relief from the first trimester side effects and more energy.

We're pregnant!

On August 19, 2011 I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive.  It wasn't planned or something Dennis and I even thought about wanting at this point in our life, but sometimes God has bigger plans. 

I won't lie, I couldn't sleep that first night.  In fact, I had small panic attacks where I actually couldn't breath just thinking about the enormous task that lay ahead.  Also, true to form, I started analyzing every aspect of having a baby.  How much money do we need? How much time will I need to miss from work? How are we going to afford daycare?  I'll have to get rid of my Miata.  I'm not getting rid of my Miata.  All of these thoughts washed over me.  But for some reason I'll never be able to explain, I felt in my heart that this was a journey we were supposed to take. Whether it's God or fate, I don't know, but I just had this deep down in my soul feeling that this was the path we were supposed to take.  I guess you could say I just let go.

The next day, Dennis won $1,200.00 after gambling some free play.  Another sign? Maybe. We promptly put the bulk of the winnings in the savings account.  Then on Sunday, Dennis won $10,000.00 after his name was randomly drawn by a computer. Surely this was a sign that everything was going to be okay.   Once again, we put the bulk of the money into the savings account.

And so in one weekend, we found out our lives would change forever and became $11,200.00 richer.  What an amazing weekend!